On the Great Squishy Hunt
Min’s Morning Brew: Tazo hibiscus tea with lemon from an old Capricorn-themed Anthro mug
Today’s Tarot Deck: The Garbage Pail Kids Tarot Deck and Guide
Today’s Tarot Card: Ace of Wands, which feels apropos given that I’m beginning this little online diary today.
Today’s Mission: Squishy Hunting
My alarm began trilling at 6am to wake me up in time for a regularly-scheduled appointment with my neurophysiologist. Time to check on my brain clots and tumors (which I’ve taken to calling by the less-scary nickname “toomies”). The appointment didn’t require me to leave the house until 8am, but it takes quite a long time to feed, medicate, and care for my five puttering rescue dogs and the rescue axolotl Umibozu (who is thriving, but she eats at a glacial pace).
By the time everyone’s good and content, I’m left with about twenty-five minutes to get ready myself: teeth brushed; black leggings, black cami, black athletic zip-up sweatshirt, and black Docs donned; Laura Mercier foundation in the most Victorian-waif-slowly-and-fashionably-succumbing-to-TB shade hastily applied; and brows quickly shaped with an overpriced NYX pencil. The finishing touch is the cat-eye you can pry from my cold, dead Millennial hands, drawn with an underpriced NYX liquid liner. A whisper of mascara to hide my blonde lashes, and I’m out the door in my whimsical little Smart Car.
Today’s Mission: A squishy axolotl from Hot Topic has helped me get through injection pain for years (twice-daily blood thinner shots & biologic injections designed to negotiate for a cease fire on my behalf in my body’s perpetual war against itself). My squishy friend is looking worse for the wear, and I fear it’s not long for this world. What rotten timing, as the Great Fidget Toy Craze is sweeping the nation. Nary a Needoh in sight, nor even dupes.
My husband knows how irrationally emotionally dependent I’ve become on my sugar ‘lotl, and has kindly made it his mission to source a squishy collection for me, scarcity and seedy scalpers be damned. We’d gone to six stores over three days without luck. But! Today, as we moseyed mournfully through another bare aisle, my husband had a feeling. He did something he’d never done before: he reached up and bravely felt along the empty top shelf—something I’d be too afraid to do, wary of unseen dust or cobwebs—to find that it was not so empty after all. Lo and behold: a blue marble sugar squish! And it had been repackaged, so it was on sale from $6.99 to $2.99, which felt like an extra win.
Dear reader, the jubilation we jubilantly jubilated.
I haven’t put the thing down all day. Playing with it so much has caused my arthritis to flare. I now regret canceling my dictation software subscription, but kneading that slushy, soft sphere makes my brain go pleasantly fuzzy in a way that makes joint pain worth the sensory joy. Cheap thrills, indeed. Happy fidget hunting, fellow neurodiverse baddies.
My purple Anthropologie Capricorn mug.